She was calm and quiet now with knowing what she had always known, what neither her parents nor Aunt Claire nor Frank nor anyone else had ever had to teach her: that if you wanted something to do something absolutely honest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.
Richard Yatesif you wanted to do something absolutely honest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.
Richard YatesHe took each fact as it came and let it slip painlessly into the back of his mind, thinking, Okay, okay, I'll think about that one later; and that one; and that one; so that the alert, front part of his mind could remain free enough to keep him in command of the situation.
Richard YatesIt haunted him all night, while he slept alone; it was still there in the morning, when he swallowed his coffee and backed down the driveway in the crumpled old Ford. And riding to work, one of the youngest and healthiest passengers on the train, he sat with the look of a man condemned to a very slow, painless death. He felt middle-aged.
Richard YatesWarren Cox, God knew, was no prize; a commercial person, a sales person, the kind of man who said things like "x numbers of dollars". At lunch today, laboriously trying to explain some business procedure, he had said "x number of dollars" three times.
Richard YatesYour cowardly self-delusions about โloveโ when you know as well as I do that thereโs never been anything between us but contempt and distrust and a terrible sickly dependence on each otherโs weakness- thatโs why. Thatโs why I couldnโt stop laughing about the Inability to Love, and thatโs why I canโt stand to let you touch me, and thatโs why Iโll never again believe in anything you think, let alone anything you say
Richard YatesWhat a subtle, treacherous thing it was to let yourself go that way! Because once you've started it was terribly difficult to stop; soon you were saying "I'm sorry, of course you're right", and "Whatever you think is best", and "you're the most wonderful and valuable thing int he world", and the next thing you knew all honesty, all truth, was as far away and glimmering, as hopelessly unattainable as the world of the golden people.
Richard Yates