My cigarettes and I are going outside. At least they show me respect.

Good God. Men everywhere.

Hey, a guy can hope. I mean, it’s not impossible that a car full of scantily clad sorority girls might break down outside and need my help.” “That’s true,” I said. “Maybe I can put a sign out front that says, ‘ATTENTION ALL GIRLS: FREE HELP HERE.’” “‘ATTENTION ALL HOT GIRLS,’” he corrected, straightening up. “Right,” I said, trying not to roll my eyes. “That’s an important distinction.” He pointed at me with the pool stick. “Speaking of hot, I like that uniform.” This time, I did roll my eyes.

Then it's settled," I said. "We'll do a dream conference call." That love and rapture faltered. "Wait. How is it settled? How did we go from me declaring my love for you to me being okay with a dream?" "It's Adrian Ivashkov logic. Don't try to understand it. Just roll with it.

So, tell me this: suppose you manage to kidnap her again and take her off to the mall. While you're there a Strigoi comes at you. What will you do? Depends on what store we're in.

This isn't a Christmas special! This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just don't happen.

The question was which spell did I make? Which did I have time to make? The answer was eerily simple. I had time to make all of them.