Did you know that it's a lot harder to put organs back in the body than it is to get them out?

One day she's throwing a book at me. The next, we're making out behind the library.

My cigarettes and I are going outside. At least they show me respect.

I disconnected as a sleepy Seth stepped out of the bedroom. “Who’s Dante? Was that a collect call to the Inferno?” “They won’t accept the charges,” I murmured.

In the real world, you can make your own miracles.

Worry about staying alive first. Then worry about how you're going to live.

It was the most convulted, ridiculous piece of logic I'd heard in awhile... It was something I would have come up with.