God might work on mysterious ways, but hell worked on efficient ones.

Are we going to New Orleans?" "No", she said, backing out of the spot. "We're going to West Virginia." "I assume by 'West Virginia,' you actually mean 'Hawaii,'" I said. "Or some place equally exciting.

Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.

Don't get caught up in fashion games. These kids probably think we're old, nark conformists or something, but really, they're just conforming in their own ways. They're conforming to nonconformity.

Who are these people?" my mother asked. "Guess," replied Abe flatly. "Who would be foolish enough to break into court after escaping it?

I lifted the lid and found a piece of bread and some water—and a rat that quickly darted off the tray. Talk about adding insult to injury.

You can live a lifetime in two years.