Shut up, me" Leo said out loud. "What?" Piper asked. "Nothing," he said. "Long night. I think I'm hallucinating. It's cool.

Curse Hermes and his multi-vitamins!

The telkine growled and muttered as he tapped on his keyboard. Maybe he was messaging his friends on uglyface.com

Enemy giants moved towards the breech, and Tyson picked up the fallen warrior’s club. He yelled something to his fellow blacksmiths – probably ‘FOR POSEIDON!’ – but with his mouth full of peanut butter it sounded like, ‘PUH PTEH BUN.’ His brethren all grabbed hammers and chisels, yelled, ‘PEANUT BUTTER!’ and charged behind Tyson into battle.

I should’ve been very cross with Anubis. Kissing me without permission—the nerve!

The first lesson every child of Athena learned: Mom was the best at everything, and you should never, ever suggest otherwise.

I'd love to tell you I had some deep revelation on my way down, that I came to terms with my own mortality, laughed in the face of death, et cetera. The truth? My only thought was: Aaaaggghhhhh!