WARNING: The following is a transcript of a digital recording. In certain places, the audio quality was poor, so some words and phrases represent the author's best guesses. Where possible, illustrations of important symbols mentioned in the recording have been added. Background noises such as scuffling, hitting, and cursing by the two speakers have not been transcribed The author makes no claims for the authenticity of the recording. It seems impossible that the two young narrators are telling the truth, but you, the reader, must decide for yourself.

Laistrygonians. Cannibals. Northern Giants. Sasquatch legend. Yep, yep. They are not birds. Not birds of North America.

He could't have survied a hundred foot drop. I'm sorry Annabeth.

Coach Hedge came pounding up the stairs with Hazel at his hooves. “Where are they?” he demanded. “Who do I kill?” “No killing!” Annabeth ordered. “Just defend the ship!” “But they interrupted a Chuck Norris movie!

Zeus looked like a really buff, really angry hippie.

You can't call a ninja lord dweeb.

Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades.