You know how teachers tell you the magic word is 'please'? That's not true. The magic word is 'puke'. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.

Hope survives best at the hearth.

I accidentally vaporize my pre-algebra teacher

I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.

The Princess Andromeda?" "Went ka-boom.

A ruby-encrusted orb popped its top and helicopter blades unfolded. Leo was glad Buford the table wasn't here-he would've fallen in love.

Leo felt trapped. He’d once been stuck in a cave on top of Pikes Peak, surrounded by a pack of werewolves. Another time he’d been stuck in an abandoned factory with a family of evil Cyclopes. But this — standing in an open clearing with a dozen pretty girls — was much worse.