He offered to stop the tide for me once. He offered to build me a palace at the bottom of the sea.

Poseidon held out his arms and gave me a hug. I realized, a little embarrassed, that I'd never actually hugged my dad before. He was warm—like a regular human—and he smelled of a salty beach and fresh sea air.

I accidentally vaporize my pre-algebra teacher

His lion and hippo legs twitched. I wondered if netherworld monsters dreamed of chasing rabbits.

The Feast of Fortuna had nothing to do with tuna, which was fine with Percy.

Two hundred Romans, and no one’s got a pen? Never mind!" He slung his M16 onto his back and pulled out a hand grenade. There were many screaming Romans. Then the hand grenade morphed into a ballpoint pen, and Mars began to write. Frank looked at Percy with wide eyes. He mouthed: Can your sword do grenade form? Percy mouthed back, No. Shut up.

There's my baby!" I cried, quite carried away, "There's my poochiekins!" ... "Sadie," My dad said firmly, "Please do not refer to the devourer of souls as 'poochiekins'.