It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.

Paul patted Mrs. O'Leary's snout. The living room shook —BOOM, BOOM, BOOM—which either meant a SWAT team was breaking down the door or Mrs. O'Leary was wagging her tail. I couldn't help but smile.

Percy is the most powerful demigod I've ever met. No offense to you guys but it's true.

What if it lines up like it did in the Trojan War ... Athena versus Poseidon?" "I don't know. But I just know that I'll be fighting next to you." "Why?" "Because you're my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?

I’m a cat. I respect the sanctity of sleep.

Good luck, boss. Don't let'em turn you into horse meat! (Blackjack)

Hubris means deadly pride. Thinking you can do things better than anyone else.