Because someone stole Gregory Peck's star on Hollywood Blvd., I have hired a Brink's guard to protect my star!
I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens.
Carrot Top... I gave him advice once and he ran with it. He should thank me.
I was supposed to be on the Tonight Show but I broke my shoulder instead.
I went to Sirius Satellite Radio and did my show, Rapping With Rip.
Red Skelton... I broke into tears when I met him.