He tried to drown his troubles but they knew how to swim.

Alcohol is an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind.

Sex is a pleasurable exercise in plumbing, but be careful or you'll get yeast in your drain tap.

whoever said progress was a positive thing has never been to Florida or California.

Never measure literature by accounting statistics. A quarter of working authors earn less than $1,000.

Women who love women are Lesbians. Men, because they can only think of women in sexual terms, define Lesbian as sex between women.

Anyone of my generation who trusts government probably has an I.Q. that would make a good golf score.