A life is made up of a great number of small incidents, and a small number of great ones.

There is no place I know that compares to pure imagination.

When you're old enough to write a book for children, by then you'll have become a grown up and have lost all your jokeyness. Unless you're an undeveloped adult and still have an enormous amount of childishness in you.

I never get any protests from children. All you get are giggles of mirth and squirms of delight. I know what children like.

You can write about anything for children as long as you've got humour.

Sex is like nose picking. It's fine as long as you practice it yourself, but it's disgusting watching someone else doing it.

Of course they're real people. They're Oompa-Loompas...Imported direct from Loompaland...And oh what a terrible country it is! Nothing but thick jungles infested by the most dangerous beasts in the world - hornswogglers and snozzwangers and those terrible wicked whangdoodles. A whangdoodle would eat ten Oompa-Loompas for breakfast and come galloping back for a second helping.