It might be funny when you get hit by a car, but not when you get run over by one.

Nothing fazes me. I'm like some kinda Space man on his way to Mars with a big gun and a whole lot of coffee.

It might be funny when you get hit by a car, but not when you get run over by one.

Chicks dig webmasters.

I think religion is best when it's reduced to a one hour television program.

I don't need to be enlightned. I have a killfile.

Wives are good on paper, at least. until they turn into harpies with sharp claws and open check books. Then they're kind of frightening. And they put on all kinds of makeup and parade around the street with their shopping cart yelling "Sale on aisle seven!" at anyone who will listen. Their wooden clog sandals make a helluva racket on linoleum tile. Their plastic jewelry clatters like the bones of little children.