Most monuments are not something you're going to keep me out of. And I go to a lot of monuments.

I've stolen a lot. Let me think about the best thing I've stolen. Stolen a lot of hearts.

Don't ever use duct tape on your privates. That's what I always tell people.

Most monuments are not something you're going to keep me out of. And I go to a lot of monuments.

I was really good in high school, so in college I was going to be really bad.

I got a parking ticket one time in L.A. and I was furious about it. I was trying to prove a point to the guy who gave it to me and I put it in my mouth and chewed it up. And the guy just kept watching me, like, "Yeah?" He didn't think I was going to finish the job. So then I swallowed it. The good news is that paper is not a big deal if you eat it.You'd be full, but you could eat the phone book. So that was the weirdest thing: a parking ticket.

That's a weird way to torture yourself. Just watch a movie, over and over, that you hate. That's really funny - that's probably exactly what hell is like.