Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things.

Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it's more sanitary.

I came, I saw, she conquered." The original Latin seems to have been garbled.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

When it don’t rain, the roof don’t leak; when it rains, I can’t fix it nohow.

Behind every mystery lies another mystery.

"I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much... because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting" ... "But that's not all people laugh at." "Isn't it? Perhaps I don't grok all its fullness yet. But find me something that really makes you laugh sweetheart... a joke, or anything else- but something that gave you a a real belly laugh, not a smile. Then we'll see if there isn't a wrongness wasn't there." He thought. "I grok when apes learn to laugh, they'll be people."