There is an ache in my heart for the imagined beauty of a life I haven't had, from which I had been locked out, and it never goes away.

If love drove people mad, what would lack of love do?

I would give anything, anything, to be the man to whom this has not happened. I can not accommodate myself to it. In a lifetime of trying, I can not accommodate myself to it. And now I will have to be that person forever.

I know that I am not the only person who is alone in the world. I know that others sorrow in the night. That others pick up a razor and slice into their own skin, with greater or lesser success. I know that others look at their lives and see only silent failure and disconsolation, feeding the cat, checking their email, doing the crossword. I know that I am not the only person to have lived a life like mine. I am aware. (212)

There is an ache in my heart for the imagined beauty of a life I haven't had, from which I had been locked out, and it never goes away.

If you don't receive love from the ones who are meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it.

It is the tenderness that breaks our hearts. The loveliness that leaves us stranded on the shore, watching the boats sail away. It is the sweetness that makes us want to reach out and touch the soft skin of another person. And it is the grace that comes to us, undeserving though we may be.