The best education for the best is the best education for all.

It is not so important to be serious as it is to be serious about the important things. The monkey wears an expression of seriousness which would do credit to any college student, but the monkey is serious because he itches.

More free time means more time to waste. The worker who used to have only a little time in which to get drunk and beat his wife now has time to get drunk, beat his wife - and watch TV.

Education can be dangerous. It is very difficult to make it not dangerous. In fact, it is almost impossible.

Too few have the courage of my convictions.

When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away.

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.