"I pay my taxes," says somebody, as if that were an act of virtue instead of one of compulsion.

When people meet my wife they think better of me. They say: "With a wife like that, he can't be as bad as we thought".

My headmaster chastised me with a diabolical instrument a leather strap tacked to a piece of wood but he taught me with such villainous success that I am now Prime Minister.

Considering the company I keep in this place, that is hardly surprising.

Never take any notice of Anonymous letters, unless you get a few thousand on the same subject.

I am one of the few men honest enough to say they do not understand women.

One speaks with great respect of economists, if only because they represent such a variety of opinions.