I have so much residue crap in my hair from years and years of not washing it and not having any sense of personal hygiene whatsoever. Even today, I go into these things where I'm supposed to be this sexy guy or whatever, and I'm literally asking, 'If I get plumes of dandruff on me, can you just brush it off?'

There is a price, which you have to pay. You are 24 hours on the job, if you go out in public.

I kind of wish people didn’t know who I am, that I could just lie, say I’m a speechwriter for Obama. This is what I said before Twilight. And then Obama came along and picked up all these young writers. I found out this guy, Jon Favreau — who’s not the actor Jon Favreau — is writing for him. And I was like, Wow, I wonder if the people who thought I was bullshitting at the time are like, ‘Oh my god. That guy! That kid who was drunk in some bar actually wrote the health care bill!’

I'm really scary in reality. Most of the time.

Start drinking vodka instead of beer, and try to get a six-pack as early as possible and you'll be a much more successful actor.

Me, Kristen [Stewart] and Taylor [ Lautner] stood in the middle of the Olympic stadium with 30,000 people just screaming for 15 minutes. It's absolutely bizarre. There's no way you can ever compute it.

In 15 years or something - I like the idea of just one paparazzo coming out and trying to get a picture, and I just beat the shit out of him. I mean - out of nowhere - when my picture's not even worth...and I've spent all my money, so you can't sue me!