I could write songs as bad as Wham's if I really felt the urge to, but what's the point?

Both me and my wife's extended family all live within a 50-mile radius. Like me, a lot of them did time in London then started drifting back to the countryside and the sea. Perhaps it's a homing instinct.

I've always spent more time with a smile on my face than not, but the thing is, I don't write about it.

I've got a Facebook page, but I've never put anything on it. I've got a presence on all the social networks, in fact, but I've never once sent a message. I'm there because, otherwise, someone's going to pretend to be me.

I look thuggish when I shave my head and wear big boots. I walk into a newsagent and people think I'm going to jump the counter.

I could write songs as bad as Wham's if I really felt the urge to, but what's the point?

I had no desire to be famous; I just wanted to make the greatest music ever made. I didn't want anyone to know who I was.