Art is wine and experience is the brandy we distill from it.

It is those pent-up, craving children who make all the wars and all the horrors and all the art and all the beauty and discovery in life, because they are trying to achieve what lay beyond their grasp before they were five years old.

Women say . . . that if men had to have babies there would soon be no babies in the world. . . . I have sometimes wished that some clever man would actually have a baby in some new labor-saving way; then all men could take it up, and one of the oldest taunts in the world would be stilled forever.

The people who fear humor - and they are many - are suspicious of its power to present things in unexpected lights, to question received opinions and to suggest unforeseen possibilities.

Tristan and Isolde were lucky to die when they did. They'd have been sick of all that rubbish in a year.

Nobody who looks as though he enjoyed life is ever called distinguished, though he is a man in a million.

The art of the quoter is to know when to stop.