As the tragic writer rids us of what is petty and ignoble in our nature, so also the humorist rids us of what is cautious, calculating, and priggish--about half of our social conscience, indeed. Both of them permit us, in blessed moments of revelation, to soar above the common level of our lives.

No people in the world can make you feel so small as the English.

Be sure to choose what you believe and why you believe it, because if you don't choose your beliefs, you may be certain that some belief, and probably not a very credible one, will choose you.

When a man is down on his luck he seems to consume all he can get of coffee and doughnuts.

Imagination is a good horse to carry you over the ground - not a flying carpet to set you free from probability.

I was afraid and did not know what I feared, which is the worst kind of fear.

It is odd how all men develop the notion, as they grow older, that their mothers were wonderful cooks. I have yet to meet a man who will admit that his mother was a kitchen assassin and nearly poisoned him.