Say yes, babe, or I'll spill you off over the Wall next time - got it?

I advise those who want to become writers to study veterinary medicine, which is easier. You don't want to be a writer unless you have no choice - and if you have no choice, good luck to you.

Can you trust me, he said. Not will you. Can you. Can I trust him? What do I have to lose?

There are things you don't want to know you can do

Yes, I am letting my own experience color my answer, which is what experience is for.

It's hard to look too grand when you're led by someone who looks like a pudding with legs.

I wondered what you'd have on the side with a plate of Deep Fried Anxiety. Pickles? Coleslaw? Potato-strychnine mash?