You must always assume that the relationship between writer and producer is that of adversaries - however you slice it. They may be your dearest friends, and they'll invite you to dinner, but when all the smoke clears and the ozone lifts, your enemy is the producer, that's the guy you're competing with, and you have to battle him, just as if you were an adversary.

I'm sufficiently independent to know that I can live well and comfortably all the rest of my life whether I'm rejected or not.

There are millions of ways to not be writing. You say you're not in the mood, you'll pick it up tomorrow.

(on being born on Christmas Day, 1924) I was a Christmas present that was delivered unwrapped.

I found that it was all right to have Martians saying things Democrats and Republicans could never say.

I'd love to be able to write an in-depth piece of what causes men like [Richard] Nixon and [H.R.]Haldeman and [John] Ehrlichman and all the rest of them not only to run, but what causes us to vote for them.

You're looking at a species of flimsy little two-legged animals with extremely small heads whose name is Man...Very tiny undeveloped brain; comes from primitive planet named Earth. Calls himself 'Samuel Conrad'. And he will remain here in his cage with the running water and the electricity and the central heat- as long as he lives. Samuel Conrad has found the Twilight Zone.