It's a very weird cultural perception that if you're fat you're dumb, that you're lazy or a loser. Clearly, those are the preconditions for fatness. You're a failure, because only a lazy person, only a dumb person, would allow themselves to get into this situation. It's appalling that this is the mindset. People generally treat fat people like we don't know anything about anything. It's incredibly demeaning. And incredibly frustrating.
Roxane GayWhat is it like to be connected to someone you can never get away from, for better or worse? I love trying to answer that question.
Roxane GayWe need to stop playing Privilege or Oppression Olympics because we'll never get anywhere until we find more effective ways of talking through difference. We should be able to say, โThis is my truth,โ and have that truth stand without a hundred clamoring voices shouting, giving the impression that multiple truths cannot coexist.
Roxane GayThat the question of likability even exists in literary conversations is odd. It implies that we are engaging in a courtship. When characters are unlikable, they donโt meet our mutable, varying standards. Certainly we can find kinship in fiction, but literary merit shouldnโt be dictated by whether we want to be friends or lovers with those about whom we read.
Roxane GayI was called a feminist, and what I heard was, 'You are an angry, sex-hating, man-hating victim lady person.' This caricature is how feminists have been warped by the people who fear feminism most, the same people who have the most to lose when feminism succeeds.
Roxane GayWe don't all have to believe in the same feminism. Feminism can be pluralistic so long as we respect the different feminisms we carry with us, so long as we give enough of a damn to try to minimize the fractures among us. Feminism will better succeed with collective effort, but feminist success can also rise out of personal conduct.
Roxane Gay