Liberals get credit for good intentions, and that's about it, because everything they do fails.

Today's Democrat Party believes that distinct American culture is corrupt, biased, racist, sexist, prejudicial, homophobic. There is nothing about it they want to preserve.

We've got the prime minister of Egypt Sherif Ismail, the president of Egypt Ibrahim Mahlab saying that Donald Trump is uniquely equipped to do great things.

I'm already a big enough target. I'm already more famous than most people should ever hope to be, and, as such, that has a direct effect on the size of the target that is on me. And you always do what you can to reduce the size of the target while not reducing your presence.

You do not have to incriminate yourself. But once you assert your innocence, and once you say you didn't do anything wrong, you can't then use the Fifth Amendment to say, 'I'm not answering questions.'

All of these years I've been doing my program I was under the impression the Republican Party wanted to beat Democrats. And as the years have gone by, it's become obvious to me that that's not their number one objective.

You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.