People are pursuing happiness, but they're pursuing things that will never, ever make them happy, and they don't know that. They've got a distorted view of what will make them happy, what happiness is, and it's based on what they see on television.

I am the Doctor of Democracy. I am America's Truth Detector. And as the Doctor of Democracy, the deal you have with your doctor isn't changing. You get to keep your doctor. You get to keep your plan. You get to keep your station. Nothing's changing, and it really never was gonna change.

You do your job every day. When things go right, there's never any coverage. But when certain things happen, boy, the world descends on you and they plug you into a narrative that has been established that you're either a pig, you're a racist, you're a hater, and that's why you joined the cops and so forth. The good work you do - it's kind of like the CIA, every success nobody can ever know. You guys, not that your work is clandestine, but it's not news when you save a kid.

Slavery built the South. I'm not saying we should bring it back; I'm just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark.

The Democratic Party does not want anybody to have a photo ID because that would have a very negative impact on cheating! If you require a photo ID, that pretty much shuts out cheating.

Great presidents don't just fight good fights - they win them.

The dirty little secret, folks, is Obama is not only for occupying Wall Street. He also wants to occupy Main Street.