To [Democrats], government's everything, controlling it, expanding it is everything. And it's not to us [the Republicans]. So they leave nothing to chance. If you reject them, "Well, screw you." They'll find a way to either bollix up what defeated them or just overwhelm the system with what they want anyway by bullying so many people at so frequent a time that people just give up, say, "All right, all right, okay, I'm tired," and the left gets what they want.

It has now become a status symbol among the rich to say that you got ripped off by Bernie Madoff, because everybody is losing money in the market, everybody is, but it makes you special and unique if you lost money because of Madoff. These people don't think it makes 'em look stupid. It continues to elevate their status, they think.

You know, I'm the mayor of Realville. I'm Mr. Literal. And I never saw the benefit of complaining and whining and moaning. I don't complain and whine and moan anyway, and I don't deal well with people that do. I don't know how to react to complaining, other than say, "Oh, gee, I'm sorry." I don't know how to react to whining and moaning. It kind of bothers me. So I don't do it myself. Lord knows, I got all kinds of things. I could spend the rest of this week whining and moaning if you wanted me to about things. I just don't.

I am the expert on battery life.

Hillary's never been anything but the Smartest Woman in the World. I've talked about this I don't know how many times. I know Republicans and conservatives scared to death of this woman, scared to death. And it isn't because they think she's not sophisticated. It isn't because they think she's stupid. But she gets into trouble enough or she fails enough, like when she does poorly in a primary, what do they chalk it up to? Sexism, like Don Lemon did. Sexism.

Democrats are talking about how Vernon [Jordan] cheats, I mean, he philanders, he's all over place, and they love him for it.

Politics is not for sissies.