The Google guys haven't even found a way to put abortion in the Constitution yet. Give 'em time. Give the Google guys time and abortion will show up in a keyword search of the Constitution. It's not there yet. Second Amendment is.

He's one fry short of a Happy Meal.

The Republican Congress is like a groundhog afraid of its shadow when a government shutdown is talked about.

Stick with the global warming for just a second, because you're fully aware that I call it a hoax, and that might be off-putting to some. The simplest way to explain to people who want to believe it's true - and you know who they are. Those are people looking for ways to make themselves matter. They run around and they hear that they're to blame for the world getting warm, or that the country is, our prosperity, our high standard of living and the fact that we've stolen all these resources from around the world, that we're using more oil than we have any right to.

If the cops come upon a mass murder attack that is clearly instigated by Islamic doctrine, they are not permitted to conclude that it is terrorism because they have been directed by their superiors in law enforcement to maintain that Islam is against terrorism.

[Kellyanne] Conway had just explained how they won the presidency. They flipped over 200 counties, and she explained, "Did you ever think, Jennifer [Palmieri], that maybe the problem is that people just don't like your candidate, that Hillary [Clinton] doesn't connect with people, that maybe people don't have anything in common with Hillary, that maybe they see Hillary as a man?"

I have made you - along with Fox News has made you - think Obama is something that he isn't. And it's such a shame. I have so distorted who the real Obama is in your mind, that it is paralyzing our government. It is paralyzing the Speaker of the House, who really, really, really, really wants to go in there and really, really work with Obama, but he just can't. It's hard for people like Boehner to move too far in my direction because of the misperception of me, Obama says, created by Fox News and Rush Limbaugh.