What we need to do is stop global warming; that's the only way to stop your peanut butter cups from melting... And if that doesn't do the trick, then put them in the fridge... Or better yet, eat them.

Obama just announced Americans don't consider themselves victims, or entitled. Actually, the vast majority of Obama supporters believe exactly that. They believe exactly that.

Here they are today, the Democrats; they're making this big deal about how this woman [Hillary Clinton] has overcome all of this discrimination. She has overcome the biggest guns of opposition that have been arrayed against her!

We're talking tens of thousands, millions, nobody gives you that kind of money without an expectation for it. It has to be paid back somehow. You pay it back with policy.

The Democrats, the left have become a giant hate group. There is no reason in these people. This is pure, 100 percent corrupt, evil politics, or worse, that governs their thinking, their day-to-day thinking. If they're having an outdoor barbecue - wait. They wouldn't. That's climate change causing. Whatever these people do.

When liberals are behind something, I'm automatically suspicious.

The American political system is a giant bureaucracy.