Wouldn't it be just great if somebody could actually get elected without having to spend all that time raising money? Wouldn't it be great if somebody could get elected president without having to pay all the donors back? Wouldn't it be fabulous if somebody could get elected president without this giant due bill?

Global Warming Snowstorm Algore, paralyzing the upper Midwest two weeks before winter. Every time he shows up someplace, every time, it's almost comical, every time Al Gore shows up someplace there's either an outbreak of weather that is the exact opposite of what he's talking about, he never does seem to get embarrassed. That's why they stopped calling it global warming and now call it climate change so that virtually every perceived abnormality can be said to be caused by climate change.

I've got the greatest line in the world about the pope coming out in favor of contraception, and I don't dare use it. I don't even dare hint getting close because the moment you understand it, I'm in trouble. So it's something I've gotta contain and avoid bursting and so forth, and now you're frustrated because I've teased you with it.

Equality is not possible. The pursuit of equality, however, people really love that. For some reason, people attach the most wonderful of motives to people who say they see all this inequality out there and need to fix it. It's just not fair. You'll hear it manifest itself in discussions about the so-called widening gap between the rich and the poor or the widening gap between men and women. It's like actually two twin beds.

It's what [Hillary Clinton] embodied and what the Clinton mystique was as it was passed down from parents to children and so forth. Because logically none of this makes any sense, as you are encountering. So you're trying to confront all these people with logic, and I would maintain to you that they don't have any where this is concerned.

Could somebody explain to me why transgender people have become so important to Barack Hussein O? I'm serious.

I'm a huge supporter of women. What I'm not is a supporter of liberalism. Feminism is what I oppose. Feminism has led women astray. I love the women's movement — especially when walking behind it.