Ideal women: 36-24-36, five foot seven, flat spot on top of the head, deaf mute. The flat spot on the top of the head is for your drink.

This country's gonna be rocking, this country's gonna be cooking, this country's gonna be sizzling, and everybody is going to want to be close to [Donald] Trump.

If you're a rich guy, the best thing you can do is demand tax increases on the rich. That way the poor guy will leave you alone. The middle class and the poor will leave you alone.

Ladies and gentlemen, even my own staff challenges me. When I issue edicts, commands, orders, ideas, you would think that there would be overwhelming blanket acquiescence, approval, and support.

Unlike Marxists, conservatives they don't want to control anything. We believe in individualism, self-reliance, rugged individualism, and we trust people that in free markets and free circumstances they will do the best to improve themselves and their families. We want as few controls on them as possible. We love everybody, and we want the best for everybody, and we believe people should be free to use whatever talent and ambition and desire they have to achieve whatever they want.

They oughtta change Black History Month to Black Progress Month and start measuring it.

There is no conclusive proof that nicotine's addictive... And the same thing with cigarettes causing emphysema, lung cancer, heart disease.