No Republicans won the White House since the "Jurassic" age without winning Ohio. But for the Democrats, it doesn't matter.

Being on my own was liberation, it was liberty, it was freedom, it was responsibility! It was the greatest thing in the world, getting old enough to be on my own. And today we have to deal with the fact that being on your own is so frightening and so scary and makes you feel so vulnerable. I wouldn't be where I am today if I had that attitude, if I had been afraid to be on my own.

I don't think that the media is ever going to be on the same stage with Donald Trump. I don't think the majority of them are ever gonna be even in the same universe. They live in two separate worlds, and they don't understand Trump's, and they have contempt for it.

Donald Trump is gonna immediately start canceling some executive orders and repealing Obamacare.

These people that write books on how to succeed and how to think positively make millions because it's something that doesn't occur naturally.

If you want what happens in the US, it can happen where you are, too.

You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.