I've been racking my brain. I've been trying to figure out how Bob Dole's luggage got on my airplane...I told the doctor, I said, 'Look, I'm worried about the next election.' ... A misunderstanding.

What is it between Obama and Iran? That's the question we all ought to have. Because it sure seems to me like Obama's got some sort of affection for that nation.

The problem is the Democrat Party is not Bill Clinton's party anymore.

Do you know what the actual percentage of money the Clinton Foundation has raised that they donate so far to charity is? It's like 5%. Five percent of what they have collected they have donated - and of course, nobody reports that, either.

Look at the global warming issue. Why are the left so angry? They appear to be getting everything they want. The Pope's on their side. Big governments are on their side. The United Nations is on their side, but we aren't and they're lived. And who do they focus on? The deniers. And who are they trying to destroy? The deniers. They cannot tolerate. They will not tolerate. They cannot handle dissent. They don't want it.

Do people on food stamps actually need more movies to watch? Well, I'm probably treading dangerously close to the line of insensitivity, right?

The polling data in 1980 had Jimmy Carter nine points, winning by nine points, four or five days out. I will never forget that election night. In 1980 it was so bad for the Democrats - they got skunked so bad - Jimmy Carter conceded before 10 p.m. Eastern time.