The people who say: 'You are what you eat' have always seemed addled to me. In my opinion, you are what you think, and if you don't think, you can eat all the meat in Kansas City and still be nothing but a vegetable.

You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools.

The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.

In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.

You can always tell folks from nonfolks. Folks like to feel good, like to smile for the camera when there's a big photo opportunity for a really good cause.