Life is not a theme park, and if it is, the theme is death.

As a producer, you've got to be involved in helping out with solving problems.

If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps?

To this day, I feel a fierce warmth for women that have the same disregard for the social conventions of sexual protocol as I do. I love it when I meet a woman and her sexuality is dancing across her face, so it's apparent that all we need to do is nod and find a cupboard.

I really, really love children and I think probably among children is when I feel mostly berated. It's not like I feel like oh, there's some children here. I have to tone it down. I go nuts with children especially when I ain't got none. So when I'm round my mates' children, I jest them kids up first. I swear at them, I get more worked up, I say crazy stuff to them, fill their heads with nonsense and then I leave them.

Some people were just getting on with their lives, chatting, being young. It simply wouldn't do.

Managing wildlife? It's wild! It don't need managing, leave it alone.