A Halloween-haired, Sachsgate-enacting, estuary-whining, glitter-lacquered, priapic berk How dare I, from my velvet chaise longue, in my Hollywood home like Kubla Khan, drag my limbs from my harem to moan about the system? A system that has posited me on a lilo made of thighs in an ocean filled with honey and foie gras'd my Essex arse with undue praise and money.

You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

I really, really love children and I think probably among children is when I feel mostly berated. It's not like I feel like oh, there's some children here. I have to tone it down. I go nuts with children especially when I ain't got none. So when I'm round my mates' children, I jest them kids up first. I swear at them, I get more worked up, I say crazy stuff to them, fill their heads with nonsense and then I leave them.

If love is something you cherish, it is hard to glean much joy from death, even in one's enemies.

Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space.

All penguins are the same below the surface, which I think is as perfect an analogy as we're likely to get for the futility of racism.

I didn't cross the line, you drew it in after I traversed it.