There were never going to be any happy endings for me. I know that now. But that is all right.

I am an adult, but a damaged one.

‎"Is it possible to both want and not want something at the same time? For desire to ride with fear?

With him everything is a test, affection is measured, that given weighed against that which has been received, and the balance, more often than not, disappointing him.

And then, when there is nothing else between us but love, we can begin to find a way to truly be together.

I want him to be happy. And I want you to be happy, too. Even if you can only find that happiness without me.

I feel like he's taking advantage of me. Advantage of my illness. He thinks he can rewrite history in any way that he likes and I will never know, never be any the wiser. But I do know. I know exactly what he's doing. And so I don’t trust him. In the end he is pushing me away, Dr. Nash. Ruining everything.