There were never going to be any happy endings for me. I know that now. But that is all right.

‎"Is it possible to both want and not want something at the same time? For desire to ride with fear?

I feel like he's taking advantage of me. Advantage of my illness. He thinks he can rewrite history in any way that he likes and I will never know, never be any the wiser. But I do know. I know exactly what he's doing. And so I don’t trust him. In the end he is pushing me away, Dr. Nash. Ruining everything.

Work. Write. Read. Keep putting words on the page, because that's the only way you'll get better.

Thoughts race, as if, in a mind devoid of memory, each idea has too much space to grow and move, to collide with others in a shower of sparks before spinning off into its own distance.

I cannot imagine how I will cope when I discover that my life is behind me, has already happened, and I have nothing to show for it. No treasure house of collection, no wealth of experience, no accumulated wisdom to pass on. What are we, if not an accumulation of our memories?

There were never going to be any happy endings for me. I know that now. But that is all right.