I think you only really feel like an outsider if you've been an insider.
When you tour, you regain the music and the connection with the audience.
People generally let me be me. People are aware that I'm not someone particularly begging for attention. They hold back a bit with me.
The anxiety I feel when I'm late is nothing like the anxiety I feel when I'm on time.
I have no technical training and am completely uneducated in music.
I've got absolutely no real perception, properly, of time.