In law, nothing is certain but the expense.

Let man be true and every god a liar.

A friend who cannot at a pinch remember a thing or two that never happened is as bad as one who does not know how to forget.

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

Marriage is distinctly and repeatedly excluded from heaven. Is this because it is thought likely to mar the general felicity?

The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions.

The dead should be judged like criminals, impartially, but they should be allowed the benefit of the doubt.