Friends are like money, easier made than kept.

We all love best not those who offend us least, but those who make it most easy for us to forgive them.

The wish to spread those opinions that we hold conducive to our own welfare is so deeply rooted in the English character that few of us can escape its influence.

There should be asylums for habitual teetotalers, but they would probably relapse into teetotalism as soon as they got out.

He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright.

Our own death is a premium which we must pay for the far greater benefit we have derived from the fact that so many people have not only lived but also died before us.

They say the test of [literary power] is whether a man can write an inscription. I say, "Can he name a kitten?" And by this test I am condemned, for I cannot.