There is one class of mind that loves to lean on rules and definitions, and another that discards them as far as possible. A faddist will generally ask for a definition of faddism, and one who is not a faddist will be impatient of being asked to give one.

There is no permanent absolute unchangeable truth; what we should pursue is the most convenient arrangement of our ideas.

Friends are like money, easier made than kept.

They say the test of [literary power] is whether a man can write an inscription. I say, "Can he name a kitten?" And by this test I am condemned, for I cannot.

I am the enfant terrible of literature and science. If I cannot, and I know I cannot, get the literary and scientific bigwigs to give me a shilling, I can, and I know I can, heave bricks into the middle of them.

He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright.

To die completely, a person must not only forget but be forgotten, and he who is not forgotten is not dead.