Since God himself cannot change the past, He is obliged to tolerate the existence of historians.

The only absolute morality is absolute stagnation.

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.

An obstinate man does not hold opinions, but they hold him; for when he is once possessed with an error, it is, like a devil, only cast out with great difficulty.

He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright.

We all love best not those who offend us least, but those who make it most easy for us to forgive them.

When the water of a place is bad it is safest to drink none that has not been filtered through either the berry of a grape, or else a tub of malt. These are the most reliable filters yet invented.