Everybody has to learn that the world works in very specific ways, and you're not in charge of it.

I did play a dentist in Waiting for Guffman. I wrote the speech at the conference. In the original script, when it got to that scene, it was, 'Thank you very much. Good night.' Literally. I just thought, 'He keeps talking about this speech. The keynote address is the big thing in his life and this is too important to say, "Thank you. Good night." I think we have to see and hear him doing what he does.' So I got together with my dentist and we worked through a few things.

My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumbass.

I read, watch television, watch movies, hang out with family. I like my clothes and I have great cars, and I drive those. But for most people, it's like, "That's boring. You don't club? You don't party?"

Lifelong readers continue to read, finding in books the means to enjoy life or endure it

I get paid all day, every day, which is almost too much for a sensitive artist.

I act the way I talk. It probably comes from starting out in Second City, improvisational theater. I can go from take to take. I'll ask for another take.