It's harder that in looks," I told him when I finally got back in the car. "Most things are.

All those clean, fresh starts had made me forget what it was like, until now, to be messy and honest and out of control. To be real.

Maybe if I'd agreed to do the debutante thing like she wanted. Or taken up pageants instead of riding jump bikes with a bunch of grungy boys. I'd always tell her, why can't I do both? Who says you have to be either smart or pretty, or into girly stuff or sports? Life shouldn't be about the either/or. We're capable of more than that, you know?

It was becoming clear to me that I shouldn't bother to get too attached to anything. Turn your back and you lose it. Just like that.

And while it is hard enough to take away something that makes a person happy it's even more difficult when it seems like it's the only thing.

Nah," I said. "But if it does, just tell him I said to get back on the bike." "What?" "He'll understand.

There has to be a middle. Without it, nothing can ever truly be whole. Because it is not just the space between, but also what holds everything together.