That's not a real answer.' Says who?' Says me. I mean real fear, like of failure, of death, of regret. Like that. Something that keeps you awake nights, questioning your very existence.' Clowns.

If nothing else, now we knew where to find each other, even if only time would tell if either of us would ever come looking.

I was beginning to see, though, that the unknown wasn't always the greatest thing to fear. The people who know you best can be risker, because the words they say and things they think have the potential to be not only scary but true, as well.

It was like when you ripped a piece of paper into two: no matter how you tried, the seams never fit exactly right again.

So this had been all I wanted, a boy who understood how I felt. Now, though, I sometimes wished for more.

My first signing was at my hometown independent bookstore and everyone in the world came. It was so nice. My family was there, my parents, everybody I worked with, all my friends. So I had this great first reading with a like hundred people there.

If things don't work out the way you want, hold your head up high and be proud. And try again. And again. And again!