I am coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith, and that a soft landing is never guaranteed.

It's not always easy being her daughter.' I think,' she said, 'sometimes it's hard no matter whose daughter you are.

But what he didn't understand was that this dreamland was preferable, walking through this life half-sleeping, everything at arm's length or farther away. I understood those mermaids. I didn't care if they sang to me. All I wanted was to block out all the human voices as they called me name again and again, pulling me upward into light, to drown.

If this was my instinct talking, I didn‟t want to hear what it was saying.

Editing is hard but nowhere NEAR as tough as facing that blank page and blinking cursor each day. You're all alone and no one else can do it. At least with editing you have someone in the trench with you.

Well, it's New Year's now but I don't feel that way anymore. I wonder if you do either. Something's happening to me. It's like I'm shrinking smaller and smaller and I can't stp it. There's just os much wrong that I can't imagine the shame in admitting even the tiniest part of it. When you left it was like there was this huge gap to fill, but instead of spreading wide enough to do it I just fell right in, and I'm still falling. Like I'm half-asleep, and I can't wake up, can't wake up.

I took his wildness from him and tried to fold it into myself, filling up the empty spaces all those second place finishes left behind.