That was the thing. You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it just hits you all over again, that shocking.

I had this wild thought that he was the only one in all this chaos who was just like me, and that was comforting and profound all at once.

So you should remember that, when you're thinking about what other people can deal with. Maybe it's not so bad.

That's not a real answer.' Says who?' Says me. I mean real fear, like of failure, of death, of regret. Like that. Something that keeps you awake nights, questioning your very existence.' Clowns.

If nothing else, now we knew where to find each other, even if only time would tell if either of us would ever come looking.

Grieving doesn't make you imperfect. It makes you human.

Because this is what happens when you try to run from the past. It just doesn’t catch up, it overtakes … blotting out the future.