I had to wonder whether it was possible that this wasn’t already decided for me, and if maybe, just maybe, this was my one last chance to try and prove it. There was no way to know. There never is. But I reached out and took it anyway.

I took his wildness from him and tried to fold it into myself, filling up the empty spaces all those second place finishes left behind.

Something had changed in me, even if I didn't know what it was just yet. All I could think was that I felt alive for the first time.

Looking back, it seemed like it should have been harder to lose someone, or have them lose you, especially when they were in the same state, only a few towns over.

Let's just start and see what happens.

When someone starts to change, and it’s obvious, it's sort of natural to wonder why. Right?

As I stepped out to face myself in the mirror, reaching a hand to smooth away the steam, I saw myself differently. It was as if I had grown again as I slept, but this time just to fit my own size. As if my soul had expanded, filling out the gaps of the height that had burdened me all these months. Like a balloon filling slowly with air, becoming all smooth and buoyant, I felt like I finally fit within myself, edge to edge, every crevice filled.