The way I see it," she continued, "is that some things are just meant to be the way they are.

This was just one night, one chance to vary and see where it took me. The fireflies were probably already out: maybe it wasn’t just a season or a time but a whole world I’d forgotten. I’d never know until I stepped out into it. So I did.

Maybe you could go backwards and forwards at the same time, but it wasn't easy. You had to want to.

But that was the problem with having the answers. It was only after you gave them that you realized they sometimes weren't what people wanted to hear.

So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet.

I wondered if it was really because he cared about me, or if now I was just another challenge.

The truth was I knew, after all those flat January days, that I deserved better. I deserved I love yous and kiwi fruits and warriors coming to my door, besotted with love. I deserved pictures of my face in a thousand expressions, and the warmth of a baby's kick beneath my hand. I deserved to grow, and to change, to become all the girls I could be over the course of my life, each one better than the last.